Some times people drive me so crazy that just reading something they put online drives me nuts and makes me want to rant and to tell them all just how ridicules I think they sound and how much I hate them at that particular moment. But I try my hardest not to give into that impulse and then sometimes I just can't hold it in but I just rant instead of speaking directly to them and sometimes I end up sounding like I have lost my ever loving mind in the process even though its just me letting off steam so I don't totally blow my friendships and such to smithereens by blowing my top even if they deserve it fully and most of the time they do but I'm just not that person no matter how much my parents would like me to tell all the ones who make me crazy almost all the time to just go screw them selves. Even if it would feel so good the good times seem to out way the bad even though more and more lately the bad times are more frequent than the good. And it's bad that people I barely know make me feel way better than people I have known for so many years and know me so well but in resent months they have shown me that maybe they may not really know me at all! And that realization really sucks ass cuz it's very hurtful when they say things that insult things that are even more a part of me than anything elts ever could be and definitely are not things that I can change the only thing I can do is work with them and threw them cuz guess what its pretty much part of my genetics. Some times criticism is good but when that criticism cuts that deeply into who you are threw things you can't change and when almost everyone sitting in the "proverbial" room basically already knows what the other person is going to say B4 they say it is pretty bad and can make a person really feel like shit! Especially when you do everything you can not to hurt there feelings by telling them just how you feel about how they have been acting lately!!! At first I was looking foreword to this last summer with my friends but now I'm starting to not be able to wait until the summer is over and most of my friend have went away to collage or what ever elts they plan to do with there lives because when I don't have to deal with them all the time maybe I wont want to kill them so much all the time. Maybe just maybe that's all we need is to get the hell away from each other or maybe I should just love and cherish what was and leave the rest of it alone and maybe it will all fall apart and maybe not but its just possible that its not up to me and it might just be best to let things be. It may even be possible that we weren't meant to stay friends past high school because were just not as compatible as friends as were once were. Well now that I have ranted and raved and opened it all up to the point of No return that it has left me completely drained and for today there just isn't anything left. Now I feel bare and raw God it hurts deep down inside!