New Bands

I absolutely Love hearing about a new band and loving one of there songs so then going to look up the bands to see what elts they have done and finding that I really like a lot of there music. Most of the time the bands are not necessarily new but I have never herd of them before. My newest one has been "My Darkest Days" I herd there song "Porn Star Dancing" on the radio station WKQZ-Z93 93.3 FM. They do some thing called Z93 Fight Club. Where they play two songs and the listeners vote on which song they like best then that song goes on to the next day. And that's were I herd it and I really liked the song. Then today I went on YouTube to find them and actually liked a lot of the songs that I herd. So sometimes the radio can be a good way to find new bands. A lot of the time I don't like listening to the radio because they play repeats of songs over and over but sens Ive been on brake I have listened to it a lot.

Graduation (Yeah)!

We had our first graduation practice today it was long and boring!! And then we have dress rehearsal tomorrow. Which should be loads of fun (NOT)!!! But then we have the actual graduation the following day so at least it will be all over then and I'll be so happy when it is. Then that night we have the Senior Lock-In which should actually be a total blast and that I cant wait for. It's one of those things that you here about from people who have already graduated and then you spend your whole high school career dreaming about, so to say, then its like holly wow I cant believe its here already and Its so supper exiting!!! So graduation here comes the Ogemaw Heights High School Senior Class Of 2010!!

Almost the end! =(

It's almost the end of my high school career. I go to school full days on Monday and Tuesday, then I have one Exam on Wednesday, and 2 on Thursday. Then we have Graduation on the Saturday after that which is the 19th then we have the Senior Lock In and I'm done with High School for good. I'm Super exited but its going to be hard saying good bye to everyone. I mean we'll have Open Houses to attend during the Summer pulse I have a friends Wedding and Reception to go to as well. So Graduation wont be final goodbyes or anything especially with Technology as it is today and all but its still never going to be the same!!! But I guess we all have to grow up and become different people and expand our horizons and live with the consequences of being our own people and growing up. We can't stop it so I guess we must embrace it or fail.

Today I......

Today I totally broke down. My dad and I were talking about my sister's mom which led to talking about my sister and then I just started thinking about everything that's been going on. Which then led to me silently having tears dripping from my eyes down my face and when I started I just couldn't stop. It started out just quite slow tears but then the more he talked the harder it became to keep the tears at bay. I was a complete blubbering mess by the time we were done. But he was very sportive and just let me lean on him and cry for a little wile before trying to figure out what was going on in my head. To be completely honest at first even I wasn't Sher why I was crying. But now after a little thought I think at first it was me feeling bad for not being home last week when my sister was home and because of how home sick I had felt last week. Even though Megan Girth and I were in the beautiful city of New York on a trip we had planned months ago and that I was super exited for it didn't change how home sick I was or how bad I felt for leaving my sister when shes having so many problems right now and may have needed me. It may sound weird but I have always been pretty much the most grownup person of my group of friends and I have always been the more motherly one. And most of the time I'm the one that every one in my small group of friends comes to with there problems and I always try to help, support, listen, and offer suggestions to them while trying to be as little judgmental as possible. But this time I was the one that needed help and didn't know what to do, and for me taking advice from others dose not come easy because usually its the other way around. I really realize now that I don't deal well with not knowing what to do or what to say. And with my sister I just don't know what I'm doing. We weren't raised together and hell we barely know each other and a lot of the time my sister seems to get very defensive very fast when I try to help which makes things even more difficult and ties me in knots because I wont to help but don't know how which makes me feel help less and worse then anything elts I hate with a burning passion feeling helpless, mostly because I'm not used to it. So as a whole I did something very unusual I let someone not only see me cry but totally brake down. And I told my dad the best I could manage what was going threw my head and how I was feeling and what was making me feel so helpless and what was making me cry. But in the end I know I didn't communicate everything because there's a lot there and its hard to speak the words of it all to someone elts. In part I think its because I don't like being judged and for some reason that's all most of the people I associate with are overly judgmental and ultimately not very forgiving or open minded.

All so new!

So this is the first time I have ever attempted to do a blog. So this is going to be interesting to see if it sticks for me or not, I hope so. But I have thought of starting one several times but this is the first time I've had the nerve to actually try to start one. So I figure I'll post some everyday type stuff as well as poetry that I have written or if I happen to see something that intrigues me. Then I might put up things like any music I find or what book I'm reading because I'm a book worm and a music junkie so I guess we'll have to wait and see.