The Day Dawns

The day dawns on the night I thought I might loose your friendship forever
The day dawns and nothing has changed from the night before and your soon to be gone
The day dawns and my heart is broken and I'm not Sher how to proceed
The day dawns and the harsh light shines on the broken peaces
The day dawns and I can't take this anymore
The day dawns and shows all the humiliation you put me threw

The day dawns and I know I must just let it go

If its to be it will and if not then there is nothing I can do
The day dawns and I have to keep moving on
The day dawns and nothing will ever be the same
The day dawns and I cant change you no matter how much I might try
The day dawns and the little tiers keep coming down just like the night before

The day dawns and I must grow up and push past the pain

The day dawns and I have decide its not worthy of my time if it makes me feel this bad

The day dawns and I will product my self in my most respectable manner I can

The day dawns and in the light I have recreated my perception of pain

Broken peaces of the things that used to be still remain but are no more

There just the dust after the explosion that no one saw coming

And the end is unavoidable

Some times people drive me so crazy that just reading something they put online drives me nuts and makes me want to rant and to tell them all just how ridicules I think they sound and how much I hate them at that particular moment. But I try my hardest not to give into that impulse and then sometimes I just can't hold it in but I just rant instead of speaking directly to them and sometimes I end up sounding like I have lost my ever loving mind in the process even though its just me letting off steam so I don't totally blow my friendships and such to smithereens by blowing my top even if they deserve it fully and most of the time they do but I'm just not that person no matter how much my parents would like me to tell all the ones who make me crazy almost all the time to just go screw them selves. Even if it would feel so good the good times seem to out way the bad even though more and more lately the bad times are more frequent than the good. And it's bad that people I barely know make me feel way better than people I have known for so many years and know me so well but in resent months they have shown me that maybe they may not really know me at all! And that realization really sucks ass cuz it's very hurtful when they say things that insult things that are even more a part of me than anything elts ever could be and definitely are not things that I can change the only thing I can do is work with them and threw them cuz guess what its pretty much part of my genetics. Some times criticism is good but when that criticism cuts that deeply into who you are threw things you can't change and when almost everyone sitting in the "proverbial" room basically already knows what the other person is going to say B4 they say it is pretty bad and can make a person really feel like shit! Especially when you do everything you can not to hurt there feelings by telling them just how you feel about how they have been acting lately!!! At first I was looking foreword to this last summer with my friends but now I'm starting to not be able to wait until the summer is over and most of my friend have went away to collage or what ever elts they plan to do with there lives because when I don't have to deal with them all the time maybe I wont want to kill them so much all the time. Maybe just maybe that's all we need is to get the hell away from each other or maybe I should just love and cherish what was and leave the rest of it alone and maybe it will all fall apart and maybe not but its just possible that its not up to me and it might just be best to let things be. It may even be possible that we weren't meant to stay friends past high school because were just not as compatible as friends as were once were. Well now that I have ranted and raved and opened it all up to the point of No return that it has left me completely drained and for today there just isn't anything left. Now I feel bare and raw God it hurts deep down inside!

Weekend

Last weekend I went to a party at a my friend Chayton's house so that was supper fun and I'm glad I got to go to this one. But I only got a half hour of sleep and had a wedding reception to go to the next day, but I slept in the car the whole way down to Vassar even though it was slightly uncomfortable. But the day went amazingly at the reception and it was very nice to see everybody cuz I hadn't seen most of them sens I was a little kid, and we mad plans to get together again at some point this summer which I'm looking forward to that! And then I got to go with my mom and visit with my sister for like an hour or so and I missed her a lot. We gave her her belated birthday present because we couldn't make it down to her party the weekend b-4, and hopeful she'll come and stay with use up here at some point this summer. So yeah my weekend was pretty full but it was a grate weekend actually one of the best this summer so far!!